Why I Don’t Do Compatibility Readings in Human Design
Here’s what I recommend instead
I’d make a lot of money if I offered compatibility readings.
Since writing my viral post, Dating, Compatibility, and Your Human Design Profile in 2020, I’ve received numerous emails requesting compatibility readings between two Human Design charts.
The majority of these email requests are from people who’ve just met someone new and want to know if they are compatible.
A trained Human Design reader like myself can read a connection chart, which combines two individual charts to reveal underlying energy dynamics. Often Human Design readers charge more for these readings because of their complexity.
However, I’ve always turned down these requests. Here’s why:
#1 Compatibility readings can be used as a spiritual bypass to avoid uncertainty in the dating process.
Instead of facing their anxiety in the dating process, some people turn to compatibility (astrology, Human Design, etc.) to assuage uncomfortable feelings of uncertainty. Is this person the one? Tell me! Dating is hard, especially when you’re trying to find your person. Forcing certainty in the early stages of dating by using spiritual tools (consulting oracle cards, mediums, etc.) does not allow the mystery to unfold. Love is a mystery. We can’t control when we’ll meet the one, and we certainly might not know they’re the one right away.
#2 Compatibility readings make it easier to overlook red flags in dating.
I remember being on a date with a man who had my bridging gate. This means he had this one specific piece in his Human Design chart that makes me feel complete (I have a split definition). This man completed me. Yet, he snapped at the server when his plate was too hot and he talked disparagingly about his ex-wife’s vagina on our first date. These were red flags I could have overlooked had I just been viewing this date through his Human Design chart. But he completes me!
Knowing your date’s astrological sign or Human Design can keep you from overlooking red flags, especially if they’re your “compatible” sign. You can also dismiss the right person for you, i.e. if their Human Design profile isn’t “compatible.” Use these tools instead to understand the person in front of you, not to determine if they’re the right person for you.
What to do instead in dating
- Know your own design. Get intimate with your Human Design, especially your type and your type’s strategy. Your strategy helps you enter the right relationships. Use your authority (your decision-making process) to decide whether or not the person is right for you.
- Learn your preferences. If you’ve been into Human Design for a while, you can learn from personal experience what types you prefer. Maybe you like being initiated and led by another, so dating a Manifestor would feel aligned. Or maybe you’re a Projector who likes the enlivening energy that dating a Generator or Manifesting Generator brings.
- Get clear on your needs. For example, if you’re a Reflector or a Manifesting Generator, you might need someone who doesn’t try to fit you into one box. If you’re a Manifestor, look for someone who respects your need for freedom. If you’re a Projector, be sure who you’re dating sees you for the right things.
When to do a compatibility reading
A compatibility reading is appropriate when two people are in an established relationship. It can be a romantic, business, or platonic partnership.
Compatibility readings work best when each person looks at the other’s Human Design to understand better how they tick. It’s not just about overlaying two charts, though that can help deepen an understanding of energy dynamics.
Here’s when a partnership reading is appropriate:
- When both parties consent to the reading. Often compatibility readings are one-sided and done without one person’s knowledge or consent.
- When you’re in a committed relationship, getting a compatibility reading can help you understand your partner better. This includes understanding how they’re different from you in the ways their energy operates, how they make decisions, and the places they might be absorbing too much of your energy (i.e. your emotions, your stress, your fear, etc.) and vice versa so you can both be more mindful of each other’s sensitivities.
- When you’re in a business partnership, a connection chart can help you see the strengths your two charts create together and then leverage them in your business. Also, looking at each other’s individual design can help you understand how to communicate best with your business partner, if they need more independence than you, and if they make decisions slower or faster.
While following your Human Design won’t make you rejection-proof, it can make the dating process smoother when you have the self-knowledge to make better decisions in love.
Hi, I’m Ana! If dating is challenging, book a 1:1 reading with me to learn more about how your Human Design can help you find love.
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